REAL LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE BITCH

Alison Arngrim

In next weeks Steppin' Out magazine, Alison Arngrim (Nellie Olsen on “Little House on the Prairie”) sits down with Chaunce Hayden and admits who was the REAL bitch on "Little House on the Prairie"" .... and that's just for starters. Arngrim also tells Hayden how much money she gets from the popular syndicated 70s series, her Liberace experiences, Dana Plato, Why Larry King is a fraud, sex abuse and admits she's writing a tell all book!


NOTE: Please note that Alison Arngrim is coming to the Cutting Room in NYC on August 13 to do her show, "Confessions of a Prairie Bitch".


THE REAL "LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE" BITCH:


That's an easy call. The biggest bitch on the set of "Little House On The Prairie" was Melissa Sue Anderson! Poor little blind Mary. She was seriously high maintenance. She's not working now. She finally gave up. Plus she married a guy with a lot of money. But the worst part about Mary Sue is that she denounced her U.S. citizenship! She moved to Canada and last year swore in on Canadian TV as a Canadian citizen! Really? How many American's do you know who denounce their American citizenship? So many actors are desperate to become Americans. But she denounced her citizenship. Not even Johnny Depp who moved to France denounced his American citizenship. Not even the Baldwin's who keep threatening to leave the country have denounced their American citizenship! But Melissa Sue Anderson said, "Screw you America!" She was so difficult on the show. Okay, playing a blind girl is a drag, but she was a bitch before she went blind. I really think it was her mother. She was the worst stage mother. She was a very troubled woman. Almost as bad as Dina Lohan. It was like hanging out with Yoda all day. I really don't know what her trip was. If the show was being done now, she would be wearing hair extensions and having her nails done on the set. She would be totally Paris Hilton about the whole thing.


ON LIBERACE (WHOM HER FATHER MANAGED):


My dad would take Liberace to Vegas and so me and my dad would take him. I called him Uncle Lib. I would go trick or treating at his house and a butler would come to the door with a silver try and give me little plastic pumpkin's with jelly beans in them. Very high end.There's a photo of Liberace and me when I was just eight years old. Back than I just thought he was insane. I thought he was nuts. He would send a booklet to all the small towns on how to promote the show...who to call, how to advertise the show and how big his name should be on the banner. It was hilarious. It was a book on how to sell tickets. Plus he insisted nobody say he was gay. He had so many female fans who were madly in love with him and he was convinced they would be upset if they knew. But I was eight and I totally knew he was gay! My dad would say, "don't say anything about Liberace being gay." I say, "Um, dad... I'm eight and I know he's gay." The man is wearing rhinestone hot pants and his show is freakishly gay. He's the f--king definition of gay!"On Dana Plato:I went to her funeral. She was portrayed as this wild, hard drugging, sexy thing. But she was this innocent little bunny rabbit of a person. She was very, very naive. I remember thinking, "Gosh, I hop she doesn't get in trouble?" She would just get into somebody's car if they asked her. She eventually got into drugs because she didn't know any better. Right before she died she was doing weird stuff like going to orgies at these weird swingers parties. Even then I don't think she got what she was doing. "Oh, I'm supposed to take off all my clothes? I guess we're going swimming!" I don't think she ever got what she was doing and with whom. It was just so bizarre. By the time she died 5 guys thought they were married to her and another six guys thought they were her manager. It was just a mess. Even her funeral was a train wreck. Her relatives sold her funeral to "Entertainment Tonight." It was just sick. She was treated by her management like a profoundly disabled retarded child and a hostage. It was insane.


ON GOING ON LARRY KING AND ADMITTING TO BEING MOLESTED AS A CHILD:


If you have to admit you've been molested as a child, Larry King is the place. He's very polite. Before the interview even starts he says, "Look, during the interview I might ask you something that sounds totally intrusive and weird." You don't have to actually answer it. I just have to ask it because it's what the audience is thinking. So just don't answer it even though I'm asking you. I thought, "Oh wow, so this whole thing is a set up! Okay, great!" Basically Larry is asking me questions that we both know I'm not going to answer. You get full warning. He asked me who abused me and what sick things he did to me sexually. But off camera he said, "We can't even go there so don't worry. Our legal department won't let us. So we don't even want you to answer the question." Everybody looks good.


ON THE PERSON WHO SEXUALLY ABUSED HER:


I would give out his name and address but he would just get a publicist and do a mini press tour. Plus, what good would it do? The statue of limitations has expired. Nothing would happen to him anyway.If he had any money I would sue him, but he doesn't have any money. He's a celebrity wanna-be. But the police know who he is and they keep their eyes on him 24/7. Trust me, this person is very scared of me now. The tables have turned.


LIFE ON THE "LITTLE HOUSE" SET:


I had to wear a wig with a giant metal comb in the front that was digging into my scalp until it bled. I had to be a bitch! Plus, life in the 1800s was kind of horrible. We used to sit around on the set and play a game called "How bad would we smell." Because during the show we bathed and used deodorant and we still smelled! Man did we stink! We reeked! So we used to imagine how bad we would smell if it was really1886. We wouldn't be able to stand each other! Even the food stunk back then. Even the food on the set was terrible. They used to spray it down with pesticides because it would attract rats and bugs. So the prop men would spray the food down with bug spray. All the food was hosed down with RAID.


ON BEING A BITCH:


I would be totally wiped out from being a bitch all day as "Nellie." I had to go home and take a nap. But it would put me in a really good mood. It was very Zen. People would ask my mother, "What is she like around the house?" She would say, "She's really calm. I guess all the evil is drained out of her." It felt good to scream and act like a maniac on set. I had the lowest blood pressure of the cast. But everybody thought it wasn't an act. People actually thought that they just hired this unholy bitch to play the part of Nellie. Don't people understand I was pretending? If I was anything like Nellie they would have f--king fired me in a week! People are still scared to death of me! Everyone thinks I'm difficult to work with.


ON WRITING A BOOK ABOUT HER LIFE:


I've written several chapters! It's called, "Confessions of a Prairie Bitch" after my stand-up show. It will be about everything.. sexually abuse, the good, the bad and the ugly of being a child star.


ON WHAT SHE GETS PAID FOR "LITTLE HOUSE" RERUNS:


Right now "Little House On The Prairie" is huge in France. It's like being the head of a cult. People there expect me to be able to levatate myself. They can't get enough of it. Believe it or not I still get paid. In fact, just the other day I got a check for $28.18 cents from the Netherlands. But don't feel bad for me. "The Walton's" get nothing!


ON LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE: THE MUSICAL:


The musical version of "Little House On The Prairie" opens this weekend in Minnesota! It's going to be like watching the TV series on acid! Melissa Gilbert will be playing the part of Ma Ingles and she'll be singing for the first time in public! She's seriously never sang before. I'm guessing she knows how or they wouldn't let her go on stage. Patrick Swayze was supposed to star in it as well before he got ill. I wonder if Melissa Sue Anderson would dare show up? I would just die if she does!

Comments

Anonymous said…
You can google this. Laura Ingeles Wilder moved to southern Missouri where she raised her only child, Rose. There is a house and museum there that contains all the history. I would have hoped a better location for the play opening since they lived in Minn such a short time but I am sure Minn will host this play warmly.

Blessings to Laura who has long since passed. She provided one of the few and consistent narrations of what life was like homesteading on the prairies during the 1800;s and did it to appeal to children, unusual for the time.
Unknown said…
I just finished reading Alisons's book, and then I read it again. It was laugh-out-loud funny most of the way through, except when it wasn't. The descriptions of her life in Hollywood pre- and post-Little House are an absolute scream, but then Alison very candidly gives readers the truth about sexual abuse and the fact that resources are available now that weren't until relatively recently. That part of her story and a couple of others broke my heart for her. Instead of being bitter, she seems to be a loving and giving individual who can make fun of herself, not just getting laughs at the expense of others. There is not one part of the book that even drags. I only wish it had been twice as long.