KATHY POSNER PISSED AT CHICAGO SCHOOL

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THE CHICAGO GOSSIP
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Kathy Posner



The Village of Evergreen Park is a southwestern suburb of Chicago. The village describes itself on its website as the “small town” connected to the “big city.” In a line that sounds like it came from a brochure still floating around from the 1950’s, the village web site also says, “Neighbors are always there for each other, merchants know the names of their customers and our children feel safe at play.” What a bucolic place to live! One can almost hear the birds chirping in delight as they fly through the village surrounded by evergreen trees for them to nest in.


Evergreen Park is a small village. As of the last census, there were 25,044 people, 8,010 households, and 8,059 families residing in the village. This village seems like a friendly, caring place to reside.


Unless of course, you happen to be a high school student who happens to require use of the “facilities” throughout the school day.




The first “bathroom rule” at Evergreen Park Community High School states, “Students are not allowed to leave the cafeteria during lunch. Students wishing to use the bathroom facilities during the lunch periods must present their ID card to the lunchroom supervisor to gain permission to use the facilities.” Wouldn’t you assume that lunchtime would be the appropriate time to visit the loo? That way, students don’t miss any classroom instruction. How embarrassing that a teenager has to ask permission to relieve themselves! Then again, what would the high school experience be like for teenagers without constant reminders that they are still children with no control over their lives (or their bladders, for that matter)?


If that rule were not bad enough, the school has now instituted a very strict bathroom policy for during school hours. According to the SouthTown/Star newspaper “Students are now limited to three washroom visits during class per semester without penalty. After that limit, they have to stay after school and make up any class time missed when answering the call of nature. Principal Bill Sanderson said the policy ensures that students won’t miss valuable class time and also prevents some from using a washroom visit as an excuse to skip class for a bit.”


Evergreen Park High is on a block schedule, which means that students attend four classes a day, each of which lasts eighty-three minutes. The students have five minutes between classes but during the day, the only washrooms that are open are near the main office on the first floor. Principal Sanderson claims this is a necessary security measure for the safety of students, faculty, and staff.


Embarrassingly, I have the bladder the size of a cherry pit. I don’t attend movies or plays because I have to get up at least twice and by the time I get back there have been so many plot changes, I don’t know what is happening. I always explain to flight attendants not to panic when they see me constantly going to the washroom—I am not plotting an attack, I just have to pee!
High school students have enough anxiety about standardized tests, homework, grades and whether or not they look cute in that navy sweater – Must they worry about when (or if!) they will obtain permission to perform a necessary bodily function?


Evergreen High School has one famous graduate—unibomber Ted Kaczynski. One of the lines from his manifesto is, ”Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy.” Perhaps as he wrote that line, he was reminiscing about his alma mater.

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