Monday, May 09, 2011

KATHY POSNER CAN LEAVE THE COUNTRY



Kathy Posner



I just came across a blog from March 2009 about “THINGS I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO.” I read it and discovered that I now know how to do most of the items on the list. I am so proud! I just thought it was pretty funny and wanted to share.


(1) I am one of the last people in America who is still using dial up on my home computer. I have broadband on my laptop (which I use inside my home) but I don’t know how to change my “landed computer” from dial-up.

For my laptop, I no longer “steal” Wi-Fi from someone in my building, but have my own Supermodel network!



I realize I could probably call AT&T or RCN (my cable provider) and have them come over and do something, but since I don’t know what to ask for—I do nothing. Instead I suffer through having downloads that take 10 hours to accomplish.


I got rid of dial up, but still keep the phone line active just in case my broadband ever goes down. I am probably one of the few people in America paying for an extra line where the cord just lies on the floor in case of emergency.


(2) Until I moved into my current condo, I never did laundry. I always sent everything out—including my underwear! I have never been to a laundromat. My home now has a washer and dryer in it, so I do wash underwear and towels. I still send everything else out to the cleaners. WHY? Because I don’t know how to use the washer on any setting except cold (there are so many buttons!) and when I tried to wash sheets, they came out all wrinkled. My friend Patti Condon tried to teach me how to iron, but I am incapable of making the wrinkled sheets come out smooth.


I have learned how to wash clothes, but still cannot iron, so even now I have to have my sheets and pillow cases ironed by someone else. I put out my jeans and t-shirts for the housekeeper to iron, but at least I do my own wash!




(3) Last week, for the first time, my friends, Laura Konwinksi and Stella and Kevin Black took me on a bus ride. We all got on a bus together and Deb paid for my fare with her transit card. The bus was going straight down Michigan Avenue, so it was obvious that it would let me off right by my home. But what if the bus made a turn on some side street? How would I know if as the bus was traveling down Michigan Avenue that it would go to my home? How does anyone know what bus to take?


It is meaningless to me that the bus signs have names of routes like “Marine Drive Express,” “Sheridan Road Express” or “Blue Island (wherever that is?). The bus signs do not tell you where the bus is going and when a particular bus will arrive at the stop. How are visitors from out of the city supposed to know what bus to take and what bus stop they should wait at so they can catch a particular route?


This task I am still a failure at. With the outrageously high cost of gas and taxi-cabs, I am going to learn how to take a bus. I still will never take an El because I won’t go underground.


(4) I really should not humiliate myself by also sharing that I need to re-new my passport but I don’t know where to go to get the application.

I renewed my passport, but still have not left the country. But at least I can if I want to!

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