Kathy Posner...A Bargain At Any Price!

Kathy Posner For Rent

I read an article in the LA Times by Meghan Daum and have discovered my true calling! She wrote about a web site that profiles more than 167,000 people that one can hire on a platonic basis for various services. The fee for hiring a “friend” ranges from $10 to $150/hour and must be paid first in cash.

Site creator, Scott Rosenbaum told Daum that the “ friend” services range from ” a 31-year-old Las Vegas woman who has been hired occasionally by traveling businessmen who want to go sightseeing, a stay-at-home mom who wanted a scrapbooking companion and a bored grandmother who was visiting family from the Midwest and wanted to take in a movie. He also mentioned a college student who got in trouble for drinking and rented "parents" to meet with school administrators.”

Rosenbaum also said says there's a zero-tolerance policy for sexual solicitations.” I personally review every profile before it's made live on the Web site," Rosenbaum told me in an e-mail last week. "I verify all of the contact information and check their pictures ... (Profiles with sexual undertones) are immediately banned from the site."

The web site lists many reasons why someone would possibly rent a friend:

●People who travel to a new city can hire a local to show them around town. It's always good to know someone from the area who can give you first hand information about where to go and what to avoid.

● Someone might want to see a movie or go out to a restaurant but don't have anyone to go with. They could "Rent a Friend" to go along with them.

● Many Friends on have unique talents and skills. They can teach you a new language, tutor you, share a new hobby, art, dance, and much more. It's also a great way to meet people of different cultures and religions.

● People who travel often for business that are looking to find local Friends to go out to dinner with, go to the bar with, or watch a sports game with. It's always great to have Friends in different cities.

● People who have an extra ticket to a sporting event or concert and don't want to go alone. They can "Rent a Friend" to go along them.

● Someone may want a workout partner for the gym. Renting a Friend to help motivate and spot you during your workout. It can also be a lot cheaper than hiring a personal trainer.

● Just looking for someone to give you personal advice. There are lots of people who just want to get real advice about a situation and it's always great to get an outsiders point of view.

Now that I have established what can provide, let’s explore what can do for you! Currently, if one goes to one just gets linked to my regular web site; but we are working on the construction of the new one. I had to quickly buy before some “fake” Kathy got it. One has to be confident that they are receiving the services of the correct Kathy and not some random Kathy who is acting as a poseur and affecting my attitude and identity to impress or influence others.

None of my current friends pay anything for my friendship. This is bad economic planning on my part. While former Illinois Governor Rob Blagojevich might go to prison for making people pay to be his friend, there is no law against my doing it. Being Kathy is f***ing golden and I am not going to give my friendship away for free anymore!

I will not charge an hourly fee; my fee will be $1/day and that will allow people to have the privilege of saying they are my friend. The prestige that one will revive for a mere $30/month (less than the cost of cable TV or a phone bill) is tremendous! For that low price, people will receive access to a private e-mail address and phone number where they will be able to write or call me and “ask me stuff.” (Membership card included!) Currently my phone rings all day long with calls from “friends” seeking advice or connections to other prominent people. No more! Unless one is a subscriber to access to Kathy will be shut off!

E-mail me today for information on how to become a subscriber. The first 100 people who become my friend will also receive a personally autographed picture of me! (You may Photoshop yourself in the picture so you can pretend you were with me when it was taken.) Why are you waiting? Sign up now before the price goes up.

Editors Note: If you really want to spend a little more money, you can rent Kathy's friend Lady Shafran for two bucks to go to the bathroom with you. For a extra fifty cents, she will also flush. On my next trip to Chicago, I'm renting them both!