In this weeks issue of Steppin' Out magazine, Tila Tequila sits down with Chaunce Hayden exclusively since her NFL boyfriend Shawne Merriman allegedly tried to kill her and talks about the following:
Her best friend Megan McCain and her family.
On wanting to kill herself.
Why she hates MTV and the producers of her show.
Why she hates Playboy.
And why she hates a certain school.

Tila Tequila


Things happen to people in life. It builds their character and makes them stronger. You can only go up from bad situations. At the moment I'm going up. I'm a human being. I get happy and sad. Nobody cares when I twitter that I'm happy. People only focus on the negative things. I had a bad day and a lot of stuff was going on when I wrote that. I was just going through a hard time. People think I do things for attention. Hello! That's how I became who I am. That's how I was discovered. I'm known for talking a lot and random mood swings. That's how I was discovered by MTV.


The show didn't get canceled! That's a misconception that everyone has. I quit. I walked away from a very fat pay check. I just walked away. People think I'm a fame whore. But they don't realize I walked away from fame. I wanted time for myself. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to be normal for a little bit. I had a lot of show offers that I turned down. Many, many things I've turned down. People think my 15 minutes are up, but they have been saying that for 5 years. I've been saying no to everything, I don't care what they pay.


When I was filming "Shot At Love" it was the unhappiest I ever was in my life! After two seasons I thought the show was really gross and disgusting. I didn't like the way the producers exploited me and my image. It's like when you read a book it's great. But the movie version is done so differently that it's not what you expected. When I first thought about having a bisexual show I thought how cool and helpful it could be for people. I thought it was important. But after season 1 and 2 it just became so out of control with me in the middle. It's not what I signed on for so I walked away from it. I didn't feel like exploiting people or myself. It was like a mind f**k. All reality shows do is ruin people's lives and the lives of their families. It's a dead end street.


This kid wrote me to say he got in trouble for having my book with him at school. I wrote him back and said, "Wow, your school is fucking idiot, because it's a f**king book. You want kids to read a fucking book, than let them read a f**king book, you f**king moron! I'm so sick of old adults who are f**king up the generation. They're so stupid. I can't believe how small their brains are.


I don't really have a good relationship with Playboy. I did Playboy before I was Tila Tequila. I thought it was amazing when they took my photos. But it's unfortunate what happened. Once I got famous they took all the old photos they took of me and exploited the hell out of me. That's not cool. If they wanted another shot they could have set up another photo shoot and portrayed me as I am today. Instead of using 10 year old photos. I wasn't happy about that. They just didn't want to pay me. I felt really ripped off by it and how I was treated. That's why their magazine is falling apart. It's going to be out of business soon.

AND FINALLY..........

Tila Tequila tells Chaunce Hayden "The McCain's are like the family I never had!"

Tila Tequila: People keep judging us! "Oh my Gosh, Tila Tequila and Megan McCain! They're so different. It's so weird." But actually, if you strip away everything, we're exactly the same. The things that I get criticized for in the pop culture world, she gets criticized for in the political world. All the people in the political world talk s**t about her hair and the way she dresses. But she's still just a girl. With me, I get called an attention whore. So we really bonded. Plus, she's also a Scorpion. Her birthday is the day before mine and we're both really feisty and really aggressive. We don't put up with anybody's crap.

Chaunce Hayden: What do the two of you talk about?

Tila Tequila: We talk a lot about really intellectual stuff actually. It's weird. It's a really nice bond. She's always there for me. If I need help for anything she's there. When I had that problem with my ex-boyfriend recently and everybody turned against me...even though nobody knows what happened....Megan stood by me and even made public comments on my behalf to defend me. That's a really good friend. She put her own reputation on the line for me. We'll always be really good friends.

Chaunce Hayden: How does John McCain feel about your relationship with his daughter?

Tila Tequila: The McCain's are very loving people. Regardless of their position in life, at the end of the day they're human beings. Their just parents and that's their daughter. So in that way, they love her unconditionally. They're supportive of things that she does. She tells me her mom talks about me and what she thinks of me.

Chaunce Hayden: And?

Tila Tequila: I asked myself.... She said, "I showed my mom what happened to you (regarding Shawne Merriman) and she thought it was just horrible. She thinks you're such a sweet girl. She can't believe that could happen to you. She was really upset by the bruises. She thinks I'm such a sweet girl. In fact, the McCains said that if I need a place to go and get away from everything I can go stay where John McCain stays in Arizona. That place where the President's stay or whatever. They're such sweet people. The McCain's are like the family that I never had... that I wish I had. Believe it or not, Tila Tequila is very close to the McCains! Even though I voted for Barak Obama, I really learned to respect John McCain a lot.

Chaunce Hayden: Would you change your vote if you could?

Tila Tequila: No, only because of Sarah Palin. If John McCain didn't have Sarah Palin as a running mate I would have voted for John. Sarah messed everything up. She wasn't a good thing for them. I'm not too found of that woman.