CHICAGO MAYOR DALEY LIKE BART SIMPSON

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KATHY POSNER WITH
THE CHICAGO GOSSIP
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MAYOR DALEY HAS SOME ANAL FANTASY'S
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Mayor Richard Daley

The character Bart on The Simpsons cartoon TV show loves pranking Moe Szyslak, the bartender voiced by Hank Azaria, by calling his bar and asking for Seymour Butts to be paged. Moe walks around, holding the phone, shouting out in his raspy voice,“ Seymour Butts, phone call for Seymour Butts” while young Bart laughs hysterically in the receiver. In April 2008, a study by researchers at the University of Wolverhampton in England found that the oldest recorded joke*, from 1900 B.C. in Sumeria, now southern Iraq, was about female flatulence. (The joke is copied at the end of the blog. I did not find it funny.) This affirms that scatological humor has been around for at least 4,000 years. Mayor Richard Daley has made Chicago the “butt of jokes” internationally with his quote last week in response to a question of a reporter from “The Reader” asking how effective Chicago’s gun ban has been. "If I put this up your butt, you'll find out how effective it is," Mayor Daley said as he picked up a rifle and answered a reporter who questioned the effectiveness of the city's gun ban. Toilet humor aside, the answer makes no sense. If criminals have guns in their possession to put up someone’s butt, then the ban is not effective. All the stories on the subject have dealt with the horror of the mayor of the third largest city in America using the word, “butt.” No one has dealt with what he meant by it. In his apology the next day he said,” We have to rouse the American public. Maybe I shocked everybody, and maybe you realize it now, how guns kill and destroy and injure people on a daily basis," he said. "It's something you can't laugh at." He might have shocked people with his use of the word “butt,” but he still has not answered the question about the effectiveness of gun control. He further demonstrated his stupidity with a repartee about the gun he had picked up as a demonstration model. "It was a gun with a bayonet," Daley said. "Just think, a gun with a bayonet. What is a bayonet used for?" When he was told that bayonets are not for sticking in rear ends, Daley replied, "Well, you stick it anyplace. It's a bayonet, so let's not make trivia about this." How could he not know what a bayonet is used for? Maybe because the word had more than four letters he was confused. The Mayor is worried that the Supreme Court will overturn the decades old handgun ban. They have heard oral arguments and we are now awaiting a ruling which is expected in June. Mayor Daley said that if the ban is overturned he might move to require gun registration, ballistics tests, purchase of liability insurance and a training course for people who buy firearms. I agree with him on all of his points. I am a proponent of gun control; but what he suggests is useless against criminals having guns. His requirements would only make it tougher for law abiding citizens to own guns; it would do nothing to combat illegal street guns. In light of all the interest paid to the Mayor’s “butt” remark, little attention was brought to his comment about hoping the Supreme would rule in his favor. “Maybe they’ll see the light of day. Maybe one of them will have an incident and they’ll change their mind overnight,” he said. Does that sound like an Al Capone type threat? If an ordinary citizen, waiting for a Supreme Court ruling, talked about an “incident” occurring against a Judge he would be arrested for threatening intimidation. But nobody has paid much notice to Da Mayor saying it. Somebody should tell U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald; but we all know what happens to whistleblowers in Chicago. They get a proverbial bayonet up their butt.

*First recorded joke,1900 B.C.(which makes no sense to me): "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

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