How Not To Cook

Marilyn Michaels and Mark Wilk’s new book, How Not to Cook, for the Rest of Your Life, is the first ANTI-cookbook. Equals parts biography, self-help, and scrimp-n’-save philosophy, this laugh-out-loud rant, served up by America’s premier comedienne/impressionist, is a no holds barred empowerment-driven read covering such topics as:


I don’t wanna hear the words: “It’s just a little turbulence.” Years ago on a flight to Vegas we started to nose dive, and everyone began to scream and cry out for “Mama!”… which is something I do without losing altitude…just like I don’t forget the pain of childbirth. I remember every contraction. Whenever I had one, I would tell myself, “Stupid, remember this.”


I don’t believe women should raise their children by themselves. It’s the real reason mothers set their babies afloat in a basket on the Nile. How do you think Moses started out? over extended mother!


When my publicist begged me to go out with a young thespian named James Caan, I kept thinking about the kind of dishes he would expect of me; Italian? Because he played an Italian… Jewish? Because he probably was brought up on it? Or Chinese, because Jews like to eat that on Sundays. Nah, I wasn’t interested. That’s right. I gave up a date with Sonny Corleone!


Hef came out to greet me in silk PJ’s—he was very friendly, unassuming and a bit childlike. The place was overrun with celebrities and beautiful women. There was no use wondering if you measured didn’t. Everyone was a 10. I mean, in the days before I had a baby, I looked pretty good, but it was like the old line: “Did you ever feel that the whole world was a tuxedo, and you were a pair of brown shoes?”

This humorous tutorial also comes with anecdotes about:

Woody Allen

Orson Welles 

Barbra Streisand

Debbie Reynolds

Carrie Fisher

Joan Rivers

Princess Margaret Rose

Liza Minnelli 

Burt Reynolds 

Joan Crawford 

Bette Davis

Donald Trump

Ivana Trump, and dozens more—

The Audio version of How Not to Cook… will include upwards of 50 voice characters...coming this fall..

Photo Courtesy Of: Marilyn Michaels