Annalynne McCord

AnnaLynne McCord sat down for an in-depth interview with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush, her first since revealing she was once sexually assaulted. AnnaLynne candidly recounted that fateful night but also provides insight on her childhood and her distorted views on what it meant to be in love.

Interview Highlights:

On how her religious upbringing affected her views on sex and why she decided to take her own virginity:

“I would go to hell if I ever had sex…I associated [sex] and this is probably tapping into what Sigmund Freud has always said, which is that everything in life is about sex except for sex and that's about power. And for me it was about power, it was about no one's gonna take this from me.”

On how her parent’s use of corporal punishment affected her view of what love was:

Those who love me hit me [AnnaLynn’s parents] was played over in my mind and acted out in my life time and time again in my formative years. So my brain was formed around this belief system. It was a core thought system. There was no question of whether it was right or wrong or made sense. It was just the way it was. That was just it…So I'm not enjoying it because it's not painful enough.

Describing the night she was sexually assaulted at 18:

“I was disoriented and very very much asleep. Umm until.. I was in that kind of dream state where is this happening, am I awake or asleep. And again, due to my life experience I was quite numb. Bodily I was quite numb to any kind of anything... I wake up when I.. I remember when I actually became aware that he was inside me.. There was a discomfort. This was the level that I knew. Discomfort meant that I didn't like it, but I didn't really know that I didn't like it or I didn't really give myself the right to really exist or be there. I was always apologizing for my existence… I was literally like laying there and then my brain switched into a different mode which was oh my God I could get an STD, oh my God I could get pregnant, uhh this can't, I can't, this can't.”

How she truly felt at the height of her ‘90210’ success:

“Everyone was saying I'm successful and I was just so angry. I was like you've seen nothing of who I am. You don't see me at all. I'm not even here. You see this blonde bombshell, whatever you want to make me out to be. And, you don't know me. Because, I am disgusting. I am gross, and if you knew who I was you wouldn't want anything to do with me. And I would fall from grace because I'm so loathsome.”